I feel horrible for not blogging for such a long time. Not only that I feel like that for you guys, but also for my well being. As I’ve said many times, writing down your thoughts really helps your brain and soul to relax, it’s almost like meditation. You let it out instead of keeping it locked in you mind, which will hurt you eventually.
However, I recommend you to take a walk, without you phone! It’s not going to disappear just because you leave it at home. Just message you friends and family that you’re going out for a walk and feel the moment. Listen to the sounds of nature and the sound of your heart bouncing and living in the moment. Go ahead and touch the ground, the grass or perhaps a tree. People tend to forget to truly live. Instead they tend to drown themselves in dream-worlds. Thinking that they live the life of celebrities or perhaps somebody else, mostly because of the social media. Some people think that their lives are perfect, but nobody is perfect, not even me. But that’s not the case here of course and I hope that you all know it. It’s very wrong to stare at your phone when you feel down, go ahead and walk out instead and feel yourself living the life you deserve to live. That’s what I’m focusing on right now.
A lot of things have happened since last time I wrote here. Things I didn’t believe would ever happen. Just remember, anything can happen in your life, don’t be like me and live in a dream-world. Live your real life, for real. Listen to your heart, but be also careful so that you don’t hurt anybody, it’s not worth it. And you will automatically hurt yourself as well.
My life has changed, extremely. At first I was devestated. But I’m happy now, or at least I’m feeling better. I feel so free. That is how life should be feeling, right? You guys know that I’ve been feeling rather down for about a year now and I can finally feel that things will turn for the better. A lot of private changes have happened and it’s only private. I cannot write about everything here, I will perhaps when I’m ready for it. But you should all know that I’m happy. Sometimes feelings will catch up and you might feel down, but let the sadness and anger out. That’s how you cleanse your body so that you can continue being your happy self.
I’ve always been this very positive girl, smiling all the time and being such a happy little sunshine. And that sunshine haven’t been shining for such a long time now, and I miss her. I will bring her back, but it’ll take time. And people in my life have been saying that I have changed, well everybody changes, but I don’t want the sunshine to change or be gone. And it’ll take a lot of work to focus my mind on myself, and not what everybody else thinks. It’s different here on my blog since I’m only interested in hearing what you guys have experienced, if you ever have felt the same way, you know what I’m saying?
Don’t do like me and listen to all the people and do as they say. I have always been “controlled” by other people without thinking about it, and it feels so good to do what ever I want now. I am an adult for the love of God. I don’t feel like it but now that I’m free it’ll get a lot easier. I can finally breathe.
I know this post is really fumbling and weird, but that is how my mind is right know. Heartbroken, free, scared, in love, excited, filled with lust, happy, sad, angry, stressed and oooh all those feelings just came bursting. I’m just blessed to have my family by my side and all my beautiful friends being there for me. Now it’s time to focus on me. ME? Really? I’m absolutely not used to that thought.
The focus has always been on my education, career and future etc. and I did forget about myself, and the most important person in my life. I can’t believe I’m even saying this. I am my own person. That’s how everybody should feel. Please, whoever is reading this, remember that the most important person in you life is YOURSELF. Because if you aren’t happy, if you’re not feeling fine, then the people around you ain’t feeling good either. Take care of yourself first, that’s what I’m going to do now.
I’ve always been so afraid of the unknown. Never dared to do anything crazy, spontanous and so dangerously fun. Now is my time to catch up with that and my stomach is bursting with feelings. It’s like birds are being released from my stomach. Either that or I’m Elsa who’s letting it go.
I am so happy. So free.